Commercialized
by GhostJordan
Summary: Me and my good friend L.E Thorne had a bright idea. What if your favorite WWE Superstars and Divas re-did some of the commercials you see on television today?
1. Chapter 1

You're sitting at home in your room and you look out the window. You notice that your brand new car has just been stolen. You gasp and cross your arms and stand up.

"Like a good neighbor state farm is there!" and your State Farm agent shows up in your driveway. He waves at you and sends a smile your way and you graciously return it. Then you look back at your laptop and see the newest John Cena shirtless picture on your dashboard of your favorite website 'Tumblr'. Then...Boom! That's when a bright idea hits you.

"With John Cena naked in my bedroom!" you say. You hear a _swooshing_ sound and close your eyes before turning your head. Once your head is turned towards your bed you cautiously open your eyes to see WWE Superstar John Cena laying on your bed naked. Your heart starts racing as he gives you that devilish smirk knowing you two were about to...well...you know.

"J-John C-Cena?" you ask knowing the answer.

"...You CAN see me" he says waving his hand in front of his perfectly packaged...package.

Then out of the blue Kofi Kingston walks into your bedroom with his bright yellow ring gear on and his bright neon green shirt on. He looks at Cena and his eyes widen before looking over at you. He then goes to the camera that's positioned at a right angle of your room and knocks on it.

"Hey Kids, I'm Kofi Kingston" Kofi says smiling.

"Coffee there's obviously no kids here" Zack Ryder says from off set. "C'mon you're messing up my assistant-ness man! Go back to RAW and go fight Perfection"

"I am Perfection" Dolph Ziggler says from off set somewhere.

"Shut up!" Zack says.

"Can't you see we're trying to make a commercialized porno here. Everyone get out!" Cena yelled. "Except you" he says to you.

"Once again, I'm Kofi Kingston and You over here" Kofi says pointing towards you. "Cena is about to put the Boom Boom" he says doing his hand movements. "In your bed room"

Camera cuts off.


	2. Chapter 2

A dark haired man shows up on your television screen wearing a baby blue button up shirt, and some black slacks. He smiles towards the camera exposing his dimples to the viewers. The camera zooms out of focus from his face to the office setting in the background. As he continues to smile a phone is heard in the background. The dark haired man raises a finger signaling for all of the viewers to 'hold on'. He picks up a headset off of his desk and puts it on his head then picking up a coffee cup that states '405' written in red letters. He looks down at the floor and finally back up to the camera licking his lips as he stares.

"Hi my name is Justin Case and I am assuring you that if you're with us, then we will insure you with safety. I mean c'mon it's all in the name, Safe Auto. Plus, I'll be there every step of the way. I mean c'mon who needs On-star safety when you have Justin Case around." The man said making his South African accent audible.

After the last word came from his mouth, a red headed man walked into the scene wearing blue jeans and a black shirt. He stares at Justin and crosses his arms.

"See one of my faithful customers have just come to see me in regards to his problems. Can I help you great citizen?" Justin said turning to the man.

"Dude you're name is not Justin Case" the man said revealing his thick southern accent. "Honestly this whole thing is a scam!"

"It's not! My name is Justin Case. Justin Case, Justin Case! Justin Case your other insurance companies fall through the cracks call Justin Case for Safe Auto!" Justin said looking from the man to the camera.

"Gabriel, your name is Justin Gabriel" said the man.

"Heath must we go over this? My name is Justin Case because Justin Case someone needs my help I am there" Justin said turning back to the camera and flashing his smile.

"Dude you're not fucking Superman. Superman is not South African, at least I don't think." Heath said. "Justin Gabriel stop acting like a fucking douche bag and c'mon"

"It's Justin Case because ladies, Just in case your man doesn't come around…" he says winking at the camera and blowing a kiss. "Call Justin Case"

Just then a tall black haired man steps into the scene behind the two other men with crossed arms and a very smug look on his face. "You two are manipulative hypocritical wastes of skin. Now leave and make me that sandwich I asked for. Then after you bring it to me…go to bed kiddies then when you wake up do us all a favor and kill yourselves" his British accent covering each word with upset and pure disgust.

The man then walked away leaving Heath and Justin standing there seemingly speechless.

"Kids call Justin Case for auto insurance and anything else you need" Justin said smiling once more.

"Or when Wade over there needs a box of tampons for his period week" Heath said.

End commercial.


	3. Chapter 3

This was originally a promo for something I was doing so...enjoy anyway.

* * *

><p>The camera panned in on two guys wearing a jumpsuit that resembled a cleaning service piece. One man was sitting on a crate and the other was leaning on it. Just then a man with a maid outfit, some white sneakers and a maid tiara thing came into the seen causing the War audience to go crazy with laughter.<p>

"…what are you wearing?" the man sitting on the crate asked.

"Curt, you said come in my cleaning attire." Said the man dressed in the maid attired.

"…is that my mom's?" asked the now identified Trent Barreta.

"Maybe…anyways let's get to the promo shall we?" Caylen Croft said.

"Fine…Hello War fans. I'm Peter Griffin, this is Kanye West and the one over there in the dress is Kelly Kelly…and we're collectively known as the Pussycat Dolls." Curt Hawkins said causing his friends to stare at him.

Trent swatted Curt in the arm. "No dude. I'm obviously BatTrent, this is SuperCurt, and LadyCroft known collectively as the JusticeDudes." Trent said. "Gosh you mess up everything Curt."

Caylen rubbed his temples. "No…I'm Caylen Croft, that's Curt Hawkins and this is Trent Barreta known as the Dudebusters."

"Wow for a guy wearing a maid outfit you suck the fun out of everything." Trent said.

Caylen slapped him in the back of the head causing Curt to reach over and hit Caylen. Curt then grabbed Trent and hugged his head and pointed a finger to Caylen. "Don't you touch my son!" Curt said in an angrily mother voice.

Caylen sighed. "Fine. Anyways…we are the Dudebusters and we're opening a cleaning service so that we can clean up all of the non-talent in the WWE. But oh…we're not just cleaning up non-talent…no!" Caylen said started.

"We will also clean out…your mom's panty drawer." Curt said matter-of-factly.

"No." Trent and Caylen said collectively.

"Ouch…my heart…it hurts." Curt said. "But no seriously…we will also clean up your girlfriends from the disease that is you."

"That's accurate." Caylen said.

"But I have a girlfriend…hi AJ!" Trent said causing Curt to facepalm him and Caylen to say 'aww'.

"Fine…fine…what we're trying to say is that The Dudebusters are a faction that shouldn't be taken lightly…we should be taken with seriousness and respectfulness." Curt said.

Caylen tapped Curt on the shoulder. "You mean taken seriously and be respected."

"…Caylen why don't you bend your ass over and clean something for me since you're wearing that lovely dress." Curt said sarcastically.

"Okay." Caylen said bending over and causing Trent and Curt to run away from him. As Caylen got up he looked around for his friends and saw nothing.

"Okay guys…same time next week? I'll call you. Don't leave me." Caylen said yelling towards them as the scene faded away.


End file.
